Clarissa Pinkola Estes once said “We are all filled with longing for the wild . There are few cultural sanctioned antidotes for this yearning . We were taught to feel shame for such desire . We grew our hair long and used it to hide our feelings. But the shadow of wild woman still lurks behind us during our days and nights. No matter where we are, the shadow that trots behind us is definitely four-footed”.

I remember when my mother decided to let go of my father . I was around 12 , 13 years old at that time .  A day before the big fight , my mother woke me up around 12 midnight and we sat by the stairs outside our house . The  moon as full as if God himself was looking down on us . She didn’t say anything we just sat there for hours looking at the moon , without her saying anything I could see her pain in her eyes the betrayal , the anger she was feeling , the hurt , no one could ever understand what she was going through except for herself . She pulled me in and looked at me and said to me Sicelo the most important thing in your life is God and your dreams. So many things my mother has taught me , but the one thing she always made sure I understood is to put myself first before anyone.She showed me how to access the power of the wild woman.

As a young girl with all the things I was going through made me resent  the idea of being a woman, being a mother , a wife , a friend and everything in between . Five years later and didn’t life teach me a lesson . The more I grew older, the more I started to learn to mindfully  let go of the overly positive woman . Finding that being good , being sweet, being nice will not cause life to sing. I am starting to acknowledge these unequivocally. By making the best  relationships one can with the worst parts of oneself. Letting the pressure build between who one is taught to be and who one really is. Ultimately working towards letting the old self die and the new intuitive self be born.


As you grow to become a woman it doesn’t really matter whether a woman’s concerns and aspirations are personal or global. Before all else,every action begins with strengthening the spirit . I learnt the way to  maintain ones connection to the wild is to ask yourself what is it you want, what are you hungry for, what do you long for, what do you wish for now, what do you crave for and what do you desire are the most important questions to ask yourself. The process is beautiful for everyone . Every scare , every mountain , every mile shows you your power, the power of a wild woman. The things we should never forget.As women we are strong when we stand with another soul. When we are with others, we cannot be broken . Always understand that the process of remaining conscious, and particularly of not giving in to distracting appetites while trying to elicit psychic connection, is a long process, and one that is difficult to hold to. Connect to the power of the wild woman ,connect to the woman who runs with wolves.



There is a being who lives in the wild underground nature of every woman. It is responsive to stimulus involving the senses:music, movement, drinks, peace, quiet, beauty and darkness. This all falls under a woman that has heat. Not heat as in “let’s have a sex, baby baby.” But like a fire inside that burns high then low in cycles. From that energy released there a woman acts sees fit.

A woman’s heat is not a state of sexual arousal but a state of intense sensory awareness that includes, but is not limited to, her sexuality. In the ancient times an aspect of a women’s sexuality was called the scared obsence, not in the way we use the word obsence to day, but meaning sexually wise in a witty sort of way, as time change so the consept of sexuality in today’s age.I recognize this when we as woman gather together to have this crazy topics about men and the funny stories of our experience in a sexual encounter.

I sometimes desire from time to time to live in a solely female atmosphere so I can have that little time off. It is exciting and causes so much pleasure. It is not one dimensional, for laughter is something one shares with oneself as well as with many others. It is a woman’s wildes sexuality, it’s all part of my natural feminine cycle.

I know it may sound a little bit odd for me to say this but sexuality is a medicine for the tough times, a strengthener for later, why do i say that ; I noted that the more people I come across complaining about sexual issues, the real issue was more often a problem of the spirit and soul. When a person told me of a spiritual problem, often it was a problem about sexual nature.

In that sense sexuality can be fashioned as a medicine for the spirit and therefore scared.

In the wild nature, the scared and irreverent, the scared and sexual, are not separate from one another, but live together like, I suspect, a group of old, old women just waiting down the road for us to drop by.

Soul-Norishment – Becoming One Vital Woman

In the Oxford Distionary the word feral comes from the Latin meaning wild beast. It’s common usage, a feral creature is one who was once wild, then domesticated, and who has reverted back to a natural or untamed state once again.

A feral woman is a woman who was once in a natural psychic state, in her rightful sound mind- then later captured by whatever turns of events, thereby becoming overly domesticated and deadened in proper instincts. Her cycle and protective systems have been tampered with.

Woman have for many years been lured to the things that disfunction our mind and souls: relationships, people, and ventures that are tempting, but inside that good-looking bait is something sharpened to a point, something that kills our spirit as soon as we bite into it. I personally call this “starving of the soul”

As a young girl I was raised in an interesting home. The things as a kids that our family thinks we don’t see and understand they do catch up with us. They play like episodes in our my minds .

My mother tried her best to shelter me from these events. She made sure my minds was kept occupied with alot of work so I don’t see the truth of the damaging emotional impact these episodes had on a little girl. I was quiet a smart girl though because I used that as my strength. I created ambition, passion and love for my work and goals. Oh how fun it was to just have a whole lot of work occupying me, it makes life easier to deal with people and relationships. I created a world of work and empowerment. I knew how to channel my mind to that, it saved me alot of tears when dealing with rejection. The more rejected the more forceful I was to gaining power, but succeeding in everything, when u grow older things don’t really work out that way.
When I left this country to pursue my dreams and aspirations in life I encountered interesting people and interesting relationships. One particular relationship change my life.

There was a man who I saw was too good to be true but I went on to prusue this relationship. I will call this man Frank. He was handsome, foreign.. African foreign. He was charming could dress so well. The way he smelled so dreamy. He was good with his words charming and I tell you, his the kind of guy you want to be seen with. I loved him, but it was hard to tell. The manipulation, the lies, the making you feel bad for their wrong doing I can go on . I mean these were things that I knew.
I was trapped, not progressing. I was moving but with no direction. Do you know how frustrating that is. Feeling weak and vulnerable. Then he got someone who I knew and was friends with pregnant then I did what I do best . Start occumilating alot of work and move on. So I got more work and shifted my focus. Funny how this strategy didn’t work instead I got into another toxic personal and toxic work relationship. Eventually everything I felt for all these years, the bullying, the haterad towards family and friends the bitterness towards people who have harmed me emotionally and physically surfaced and just blew up. I know I needed time out. So I came home, home where I grew up, home to my mother. I needed to heal

I had to understand to hold on to what we have, the way to find our way back to our soul is to see the mistakes a woman like me trapped can make. Then we can backtrack and repair.
I know for sure at the bottom is the best soil to sow and grow something new again. In that sense, hitting bottom, while extremely painful, is also the sowing ground.

In our lives, even though one episode amounts to a crash and burn, there is always another episode awaiting us and then another. There are always opportunities to get it right, to fashion our lives in the ways we deserve to have them. People usually waste time hating a failure. Failure is a greater teacher than success. So u listen learn and let go.

Sitting with woman and listen to they stories made me see that nine times out of ten woman with a spiritual/psychological problem that causes her to fall into traps and be badly hurt is a woman who is currently being starved or who has been critically soul starved in the past. When a woman has gone without her cycles or creative needs for a long time, she begins a rampage of- you name it alcohol, drugs, anger, spirituality, oppression of others, promiscuousity, pregnancy, study, creation, control, education, orderliness, body fitness, junk food, to name a few areas of common excess, When woman do this, they are compensating for loss of regular cycle of self – expression, soul-satiation.

Being so consumed with day to day do lists that overwhelm you and under nourished the soul has caused my soul to die. I had to start learning to get up, stand up, no matter how homemade my platform has been, I have to live my best life the most I can, the best I can and hold out for what has real meaning and health for me.
I learnt that it is deadly to be without confidant, without guide, without even a tiny cheering sections as a woman. So I surrounded myself with woman who are noble and liberated.

Know that all these challenges in life give me courage. Courage means to follow your heart. That causes meaningful rebellion, one that would promote change, give a message, cause an awakening. I had to stop talking and obsessing and just do it.

The psychological soul-plan for coming back into one’s own is as :take extra special caution and care to loose yourself into the world gradually, setting up ethical and protective structures by which you gain to measure when something is too much. If you are striving to do something you value, it is so important to surround yourself with people who unequivocally support your work.

Refused to be captured and become one vital woman.



WHITE.  Can’t go wrong with white. HSEOFBESPOKEWH never disappoints when it comes to comfortability and colours friendly to the eye.

This dress is the definition of ying and yang. You can easily dress it up or down. I personally paired it up with some pink nude sandal high heel with a red bottom and accessorised it with a cute choker from MRS ROGERO just to create that natural feel and friendly feel to the look.

Summer is already here so its the time to be drawn to the pastel colours, whites, pinks and nudes; somehow these colours make you feel all happy and easy on the eye. It’s a ready on the go dress.

The Cotton tunic dress doesn’t only come in white but also in a sand colour, talk about double the fun. This style is thus most convenient and really needed for everyday simplicity.

Keeping the look feminine and fun, I kept my makeup natural with a hint of purple shimmer and a small cat eye to bring a bit of some sexy to the look.

So for these holidays, you’ll have your perfect summer fresh look. You can come down to HSE OF BESPOKE  44TH Stanley Millpark #beelegantbeyoubebespoke




Pink dress Wednesday is that day when you know you want to walk in a room and slay . Thank heavens I found one dress that I can slay real good and make heads turn . The fabric is so  soft that  it soothes    the body . The lace so detailed so mature ,  kinda makes you feel like a lady .  HSE OF BESPOKE did a great job with this design .  I  know  I have curves for days. Sometimes they just pop out at the most unnecessary times  . Well in this dress my curves are embraced … yes I said it embraced . Bespoke  especially for me .

Take a second and look at this dress and ask yourself SLAY ??????? …….. YESSSSSSS .  Designer Waseefa Hutton kept it modest , sophisticated and fun .  This lace dress fits for all kinds of women This is a go to dress for any occasion , from weddings to lunch with friends . It is comfortable dressed up or dress down . This is my kind of go to dress .

Be Elegant, Be You ,  Be bespoke